[title of show] - Cast
David Suhr
"Our next contestant hails from the great state of Iowa. They love reality television, romantic walks on the beach, and cuddling in the moonlight. Their hobbies include needlepoint, creative writing, and cross-country skiing. When not entertaining the patrons of the local watering hole with their dulcet siren song, you can find them swindling retirees out of their life savings.
Described as a hard worker, smart tongued, and unhinged thot with a thirst for blood, you can bet your bottom dollar this contestant has a gambling addiction. They want us to include their Venmo in here as to fuel the flames of the problem. We’re paraphrasing here, but quote “the IRS will get their money when they mother-hecking get it.” … wow.
This contestant’s natural blonde hair and Bette Davis eyes are sure to win them the date with tonight’s bachelor on “The Dating Game”. Not sure who’s going to tell them they’re neither naturally blonde, or on “The Dating Game” and that this has been a delusional fantasy made up in their head… theydies and gentlethem, David Suhr."
Emili Schultz
"Emili Schultz, more commonly known as the Rat Queen, is thrilled to be able to take a break from the sewers and return to the Sioux City community theater stage for the first time in 84 years.
Aside from theater, Emili also enjoys magnets, puppets, and a sopping wet glizzy. She can count to at least 8, might be related to Bono, lives in your walls, and also don’t tell the nurse she’s awake.
Jake Darrow
"Jake Darrow is so so so happy to be involved with SCCT, even though it cuts into his jubbily wobbily time (you know exactly what I’m talking about)
Jake has been singing for probably a long time, loves cul-de-sacs, and has never ever ever put a crayon where it shouldn’t go ;) he went to Mount Olympus at Maryland University (MOM U) and wants you to tell your mom he said hi."
Erianah Austin
"Erianah Austin, is writing this bio the day it’s due! Who’s surprised?…no one.
Erianah is a human-shaped disaster that is commonly described as a gremlin and not as mean as expected. In her free time, she does shows-because therapy is too expensive. Title of show is…
Sooooo I fell asleep and forgot to finish writing this. ENJOY THE SHOW!"